What is Domestic Abuse?

Domestic abuse does not discriminate.  Abuse is experienced by people of all ages, ethnic backgrounds, genders, gender identities and sexualities and anyone can be a victim – or perpetrator – of domestic abuse.  It can happen to people who are married, living together or who are dating.  It affects people of all backgrounds and education levels.

Domestic abuse behaviour can by physical, psychological, sexual or financial and includes behaviours that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want.  It includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation. Many of these different forms of domestic violence/abuse can be occurring at any one time within the same intimate relationship.

Controlling behaviour is a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.

Coercive behaviour is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.

Abuse is rarely a one-off event, and domestic abuse tends to get worse over time.

It’s important to realise that your abuser is responsible for their own actions.  Abusive behaviour is unwarranted and unacceptable under any circumstances.

Many men experience domestic abuse, and it's crucial to understand that abuse isn't always physical. Non-physical forms of abuse can be just as damaging and undermining. So, it's important for all victims, regardless of gender, to seek support and know that help is available.

Statistics

Domestic abuse:

• Will affect 1 in 4 men in their lifetime
• Leads to, on average, 30 men being murdered per year
• Accounts for 16% of all violent crime (Source: Crime in England and Wales 04/05 report), however it is still the violent crime least likely to be reported to the police
• Has more repeat victims than any other crime (on average there will have been 35 assaults before a victim calls the police)
• Is the single most quoted reason for becoming homeless (Shelter, 2015)
• In 2010 the Forced Marriage Unit responded to 1735 reports of possible Forced Marriages.

In addition, approximately 400 people commit suicide each year who have attended hospital for domestic abuse injuries in the previous six months, 200 of these attend hospital on the day they go on to commit suicide.

We use the Power & Control Wheel to describe most accurately what occurs in an abusive relationship.

Think of the wheel as a diagram of the tactics an abusive partner uses to keep their victim in the relationship. While the inside of the wheel is comprised of subtle, continual behaviours, the outer ring represents physical, visible violence. These are the abusive acts that are more overt and forceful, and often the intense acts that reinforce the regular use of other more subtle methods of abuse.